12.10.10

good evening. its Friday. whoooo....right? i remember a point in time when i use "think" i had my whole weekend planned. however, those plans were often dampened when my parents informed me that NONE of them were going to happen. i use to eagerly await a point and time when i could go out and paint the town red and do "whatever i wanted", or so i thought. yet, here i am eating home made spaghetti (which for the record...is ROCK'N like cut off stockings), drinking red pinot noir, listening to the nat king cole pandora station and blogging...on a friday night. hmmm...the irony, the irony. yet, despite what one would typically think, i am enjoying this evening. is that crazy? maybe a little, however i think i can be deemed a little crazy...just a little. a little crazy never hurt anyone. do you ever feel like when you are seriously growing that your desires, feelings and needs change. i no longer have a desire for certain things anymore. in my opinion, that is one of the most significant signs of change...when  you are able to recognize change in yourself. as 2010 winds down i can honestly say that i am not the same melody that i was this time last year. i have learned the art of forgiveness. the art of thankfulness. the art of love. now don't get confused i have NOT and i repeat NOT mastered any of them but i have definitely learned how to receive and give forgiveness, love and thanksgiving. furthermore, i am constantly making an effort to perfect these new skills i have learned. but its hard. its certainly a daily struggle. however, i believe that, what one does in the midst of a struggle defines ones true character. i would say i have pretty strong character.